Brightside

I bought a new journal today. It's beautiful. I love it. Does it mean I should stop posting here? One part of me does because who really reads this? I can hardly imagine even my best friend to go through this muck and take a look at every post. I doubt, I know he loves me, but he doesn't have to love me that much. I think what I'm going to do is print out (nearly) all of my posts paste them into my journal. That sounds like a good idea and then once I paste them, I delete on here. Because more than anything, this was my journal, till I got something concrete, something that I can write in. And it's bittersweet because of what happened to my last diary which I wrote in for nearly two years. Two years of writing gone, along with my booklist that I've been compiling since 2003. Gone in less that a week, a day, gone to me because of that trust, that relationship that ended. Gone along with other books, and my music. My CD's. Everything just gone, along with my heart. It hurts me still, and it's been a year and I start breaking down and I just write because if I don't, I won't know my place in the world anymore and just hurt. I need to write because it gives me hope and buying a diary just makes me move on because I bought it for myself and like CP says, I have a responsibility to the reader, to me, to take care of myself in this case, and it is hard, but so what, I have to move on.