Listen.

I forgot who I am.

Dying hope.

dies.

Just kill my hope.

I'm a dreamer now and rather dream away my life than live in this life of no hope.

I will love him the only way I can and have been for years.

& damn be anyone who thinks I'm crazy for it.

This, the way I think of him and how I am not connected and still connected at the same time, it keeps me happy.

It keeps me from crying into my pillow. And damn be anyone who wants to take away that happiness.

Or the happiness of flying.

Damn it to hell, I am going to do whatever the fuck I want to do. No matter what anyone thinks.

And I start with dreaming of him and getting lost in my dreams. It's the only thing that keeps me going some days and I need it.

Turn around.

Life likes to play games.

I wrote this blog before. Too many times I've thought it. But now it's for a different person that I have in mind when I feel this.

I miss him.

I do. And it just kills me because I know he misses me too.

Would it be better if he was an asshole to me so I could forget more easily? Severe that connection?

It hurts because I know what I can do when I miss him like this. My phone is right there. He'll pick up. No matter what the time. He'll talk to me till I'm smiling into the phone.

Fuck.

I'm going to read and try to forget.

But I still miss him.