What I forget

I forget that my mom never took one step into a high school. She left her education unfinished at 7th grade in Mexico that is. She left so she could work. My dad left school because it was dumb for him and started working to take care of himself and his independence because even though my grandma offer education, he turned it down because he couldn't stand living under her thumb. Too immature to grasp that education can equal a career, a career a nice lifestyle while not having to kill himself to earn it.

I forget that their education only extended itself so far by choice or by not having one.

I forget and get irritated sometimes at their ideas of who I am watching or listening lectured online isn't my teacher or my class like they assumed, they don't know what I'm doing, what I'm reading, what I'm writing. What I'm doing. They don't understand and they won't be able to.

They don't know why it irritates me when they barge into my room, time and time again, asking questions, handing me clothes, calling me for stuff. Why is it that I am annoyed because I have to stop what I'm doing and sometimes I come back to my writing and I can't remember what I was going to write, academically or creativity wise.

I forget that they think I can go back right to my work because it's on my computer, waiting. I forget when I get irritated at having to pause right in the middle of a lecture online. I am impatient. I forget when I need to remember their backgrounds and realized that I'm the first in my immediate family to go to college, graduate, continue in Univ. & I'm doing it by myself out here, with little help and what help there is available does not extend to me because I am not family and even then, help for me is only how much I'm willing to help myself.

I am trying to do that, every day. I am trying to improve myself, to improve my life, to hold onto the hope that even though there is little hope, that I can provide for my parents. I am traditionalist in the sense of my family morals and I believe that is good but I keep my hope and try to remember. I keep my hope and I continue to write in that hope.