I wanted everything.

I have been sitting here for the past two hours.

I told myself I would write my novel since the night is mine.

I didn't.

I spent two hours DOING NOTHING. KNOWING NOTHING. Because everything I've work so hard for this last semester. This rebuilding of my life, to make myself a better person, a better friend, to achieve my goals, my self-actualizations amounted to tonight.

Ugly. Fake. Loser.
Liar Liar. Dirty girl. Shameless.

This was coming. I know it the moment I felt my smile weary on my face.

I miss him. He's not here. He won't ever be here again.

He changed my whole world.

fuck. i can't even write this.