If I just follow my own rules. I should be fine.
The more I talk to guys the more I'm reminded of the reasons why I should play and not become involved.
Seriously, married men. Like what the hell, you have your wife at home, and she's beautiful. You said I do to her, back it up! Idiots!
Older, much older divorce men. Yes, we know you went through a painful divorce. yes, you are single and available and are ready to play because your divorce left you scared. BUT, must you go after girls young enough to be your daughters? Seriously? You're how old? And you're looking for girls in what age? I know, I know, you don't want to discriminate in age but really, now you're just being perverted.I know they joke about me and going after youngsters, but I don't go for guys a decade younger than me at least. Perverts!
And then there are the "single" men. How the hell do you think you're kidding? And are you that dumb? Or do I play being the dumb blond too well? Do you really think I'm that stupid. *roll eyes*. It's obvious you have a girlfriend. If not here in the city, that you're attached to someone, but long distance or not, she's still your girlfriend. You're just losers for being scared of your own relationship. Either play the field right or have enough balls to break up with her before you get caught. Because you will get caught. the game will only come back to hunt you. Cowards!
Then there are actually single guys. Le sigh. I understand that at this point, you're all have been attached at one point with someone pretty serious. But just because you had bad experiences means that shouldn't try again. Grow some balls guys, there are plenty of single girls who would love to have you.
Me included eventually. As soon as I find that the hand that mine fits into. That and when I stop thinking of that guy I met through my hookup. That'll fade out, I hope.
Rules:
1.No playing with guys who are married/engaged/are boyfriends (attached)
2. No one older than 6 years or younger than 4.
3. No one shorter than me. No one of a smaller body frame (to an extent)
4. No latinos. Sorry, don't do my own race, I know them too well.
5. No one into drugs. (smokers okay. drinkers not so much.)
6. No fucktards. No creeps. If you give me the weirdo vibe, bye.
7. No one too good looking because they know how well they look and I don't need to feel that you're thinking you're having sympathy sex with me. Um-no. Also because you're so good looking, I know you're taking advantage of that and your numbers tend to run double digits. No thank you on the STD's either. Average guys are better anyway.
8. No dorks. Just because I tend to get attached to you. (case in point: hookup's best friend >_> goodlord why do I keep thinking of him?! -_- Boo. Just thumbs down. Is it bad that I'm hoping to bump into him when Spring semester starts? I've never blogged this much about a guy. Why him? he probably has a girlfriends. Dorks like him always do. And besides I played with his friend. -_-
The retracted rule that was formerly rule #9: No hooking up with friends of hook ups.
It gets weird fast. But only if your original hook up is a douchebag. I'm better playing this by ear and see how it develops because sometimes this opens up alot of guys :P But a must is keeping it to yourself unless you want drama by comparison. Sometimes it's nice to be known as easy and sometimes it's not.
Just see how it goes.
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I can understand why you have these "rules". But if I could pick anybody any greener than you are right now from being jaded, I would pick Elphaba.
ReplyDeleteIt's true some men are pigs, but it isn't fair to classify all good looking guys as conceited manwhores, or all dorky guys having girlfriends and hook-ups. It simply isn't, as hard as it is to come to that realization. You are then doing the one thing that I always tell you not to do: limit your opportunities.
Now I'm not saying don't have any standards at all, otherwise that would just be seeming desperate. But don't cancel out everything out of spite just because of bad experience. And I mean really, with rules like this, what kind of man are you left with exactly? You've cancelled out creeps, dorks, but you've also cancelled out good-looking people and whatnot. What does that leave you? The perfect man? Because you know that the perfect man isn't without his flaws.
It all boils down to the one thing I know you hate hearing: what do you want?
I know for now you say you want to play around, and I believe that. But speaking truth here for a second, it's been MONTHS, almost reaching a YEAR since you and fucktard parted. You cannot tell me that at least once you've longed for some kind of deeper connection again.
You get attached to your hook-ups because as much as you say you just want to fool around, I know (and you know) that you're secretly hoping for something more. Unless what your heart desires is just temporary thrills for the rest of your life, at some point, you're going to have to be bold and listen to what your heart wants. And you're the only person who can hear what your heart wants.
You can tell everyone (even me) that you just want to fuck and have fun, but don't deny what your heart TRULY desires. Otherwise, you'll only become more jaded and spiteful and limit yourself even more to a point where you'll just become bitter and not give anybody or anything a chance.
Stephanie, you're my best friend, and I care for you dearly, and it always distresses me when you're in such a torn state about guys you encounter. You're overthinking, and your limiting your opportunities in an attempt to find... I don't even know what it is. The best things, be it a hook-up or something more, happen naturally, and you can't force or manipulate something into happening. Otherwise you're neither being true to yourself or the guy.
But again, only YOU can truly know what you want and what your heart desires. Please don't deny your heart what it deserves. Because if you were to ask my honest opinion, I'd say you deserve so much more than just meaningless sex. You're a wonderful, beautiful girl full of passion and light. And jaded green just isn't your color.
<3
I completely agree with Mikko, but I also want to add this:
ReplyDeleteI think that worrying over a relationship (or whatever it is you want with love/lust) is going to prove harmful. It will distract you from your writing, your school work, and during extreme times, maybe even your friends. There are two misconceptions the world will always tell you:
1) Keep searching or you may never find your true love.
2) Love will find you when you stop searching.
Neither of these are true! Case in point: Mikko and I.
When I came across his ad on craigslist, I was at a point in my life where I was ready to give up on looking for love, because I needed to focus on me. I'm pretty sure I've told you this, but I wasn't even looking for potentials at the time when I found his ad. I was looking for funny posts to laugh at with my friend. Also, he posted his ad when he posted it. He wouldn't have posted it any sooner if I had kept searching for my true love, nor would he have posted it any later if I had stopped searching, because we didn't even know each other yet.
The point I'm trying to make is that you will find what you're looking for whenever you come across it, regardless of what you're doing or what your mood is. So why worry and stress about it so much? Just like death, we cannot predict the time or place we will be when we come across love/lust. Just be. Let him/her come to you as life permits.
Finally, regardless of gender, humans are most attracted to those who appear non-chalant about life and love. We crave those who have passions, those who have interests, those who have hobbies. This is the key to getting people to see you, and to think, "Wow, she's really put-together, and has a purpose!" Forget all about finding the one, finding a hook-up, finding a whatever. Focus on your books, focus on your friends, and focus on your school. Get people to think, "Wow, this Stephanie girl is really put-together, and she seems to have a purpose!"
Just be.
Remember. We care for you, and want you to live up to the absolutely amazing potential you have. However, you have to be the one who lives up to this potential. We can't do this for you, but we can sure as hell try to help. :]
<3