Lock N' Load.

Why Hello hello hello.

What's this?

I'm single again.

Now it hits me that I am and it hurts.

But I remember what I do with the pain. I manipulate it. Take it and change it's form with words. drinks. cigarettes. hookah. and just go right back into playing the game.

As much as I have been turning off my phone and trying to seal myself away from my social life, I can't.

I can't afford to, as much as I want to stay here, hidden, in the comfort of my room and my words, sipping wine, playing it off as fruit punch. Right. Bumming off cigarettes when I get a chance.

Today's weather is a scattering of self-hate with anger in the morning, and showers of bullshitting fake calm in the afternoon till some weather controlling satellites know as crazy friends snap me out of it or more into it.

Taking comfort in my sexuality will only bring about that confidence I need to harden my heart.

Time to refuel.

Taking comfort in my sexuality.